When your needs are being made unimportant in a relationship what do you do?
Have you been in a relationship with a controlling or pushy person who always put their needs in front of yours? Perhaps you didn’t know how to communicate to them how unhappy you were with them doing that? Perhaps you were bullied at home or at school growing up or were never taught the skills to stand up for yourself in a healthy and assertive way.
How you communicate this impacts how successful you will be at getting your point across.
Your needs are no more or less important than someone elses. I speak to a lot of clients who believe their partners needs are more important than their own but over time the unhappiness and resentment builds as their needs are never accounted for.
I love the similarities between friendships and relationships this video highlights.
There’s no rule that says you have to do what you don’t want to do.
It’s totally fine and acceptable to set a limit on what you want to do.
This is a wonderful and cute animated short video that was aimed for high school adolescents but I think it’s fitting for adults too because it explains things so simply. So many of us didn’t receive this education when we were at school so it’s important to learn it no matter what age we are at. It was made by the The Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society.
I love the scales at the end that shows what you need and what I need in a relationship together are of equal importance.
Watch the video here!
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Published by Cat O Dowd
Cat is a clinical sexologist, relationship psychotherapist, certified sex therapist, art therapist, transpersonal counsellor, sex and relationship educator and columnist and award winning, internationally published erotic photographer.
Cat O Dowd has made her career out of sexually empowering others through creativity and helping others find and create their dream relationships and sex life.
With 20 years of professional erotic, boudoir and fetish photography under her belt, Cat has photographed thousands of subjects around the world for fetish websites, coffee table books, porn magazines, kinky events, alternative weddings and intimate couple shoots.
Cat founded Australia’s first website dedicated to underground erotica and photographed hundreds of men and women in photo shoots in nature that strived to create a non mainstream body positive aesthetic. Photo stories were set in nature depicting modern interpretations of Greek mythology, fairy tales, archetypes and feminine strength.
When she’s not screaming in her band she’s busy writing her columns as the resident sex therapist and feature writer for Ciao magazine. She’s written for The Establishment, appeared on Triple J’s The Hack and The Hook Up, an ABC documentary about labiaplasty, NINEMSN, Cosmopolitan, Lesbians on the Loose, Picture and People magazine.
Cat runs a private practice in Sydney and runs art and sex therapy workshops and retreats.
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