Kink friendly Counselling

I am a Kink Friendly Sex Therapist and Relationship Counsellor

Perhaps you want help to spice up your sex life, take a walk on the wild side, try for the first time to negotiate an open or polyamorous relationship, dabble for the first time in BDSM, change the rules, have various lovers –all in a safe, supportive space .
Has your sex life has got boring and dull and you want to liven it up by trying your hand at kinky sex? Perhaps you want to try your first ever fifty shades of grey?
Do you want to change your open relationship into a monogamous one and you don’t know how to do it?

I have worked extensively with gay, straight, lesbian, queer, bi and trans clients. I have worked with clients in polyamorus (open or ethical non-monogomy),  monogomous relationships or involved with kink, BDSM or the world of fetish.
I’m here to help you reach your goals and true potential not judge or shame your expression or your safe, sane and consensual activities. And if you’re worried it’s not safe, sane and consensual then we can explore that too. I don’t see any expression as “cooler” or more “hip” than another and your story is as valuable to me if you are heterosexual, pansexual, bisexual or homosexual.

I celebrate the vast patchwork of human sexual expression and sexuality, and I will not judge you if your  sexual activities do not fit into the current box of what is supposedly “normal.”
What is “normal” anyway?  When we look back throughout history we see the dangers of diagnosing psychological problems connected to sexuality, because these ‘problems’ are related to the moral climate of the time.

• Oral sex (or any non-procreative sex) was once seen as a deviant behaviour that often meant a stay in a mental hospital.
• Women with high sex drives in Victorian times had their clitorises surgically removed.
• In the 1950’s “Nymphomania” was listed as an official mental disorder for women because women were naturally believed to have no sex drive. Then this was replaced in the 1980’s by a Disorder of Low Sexual Desire for women, because not wanting sex enough was the now new oddity!
• Homosexuality was defined as a psychological disorder and ‘patients’ underwent electro shock therapy.

Some professionals in the mental health field  see BDSM or kink activites as ‘sick’ and pathologise it because of their fear and misunderstanding of the activity or their difficulty in imagining how a particular activity can be genuinely pleasurable.  Some professionals will stigmatise sex workers and members of the trans, lesbian, bi and gay communities.

I offer judgement free, open-minded kink-friendly counselling and therapy free of stigmatisation or pathologising. I have spent almost two decades working with people with various fetishes and I regularly photograph genuine kink and BDSM activities and performance. My background of erotic photography  gives me an insight into a world many therapists do not understand or have not been a part of.

“Recent decades have seen changes in the way gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender people are viewed by mental health professionals, but this comparative enlightenment has not extended to the so-called “paraphilias.” The mainstream view in the mental health field is still that non-standard sexual practices are pathologies which should be included in the diagnostic manual.”  

-Margaret Nichols, Ph.D.