See Sex as fun and playful.
Sex doesn’t have to be serious and grim and it’s not the end of the world if something “embarrassing” happens. Just throw your head back and laugh! Be silly and have fun! It’s better to have tried something new and it didn’t work out than be stuck in a safe, predictable, boring sex routine.
Practice Sexual Communication.
Your partner isn’t a mind reader. If something feels good, say so “I like that” or make encouraging noises. Explain what you want, need and like.
Be Open and vulnerable.
Lower your defences, don’t take rejection personally and let go.
Surrender yourself to the feelings of pleasure-rather than just the pursuit of an orgasm.
Try viewing sex as more of an intimate connection than a performance sport. The more you focus on the feelings, the less you’ll “spectator” yourself and criticise your body, appearance or what you’re doing “wrong.”
Marvel at your own beauty and sexual potential!
Connect in with your own self love and self pleasure so that you can value and appreciate yourself as a sexual being. Understanding how to pleasure yourself means you can show your lover how you like to be pleasured, and can help improve your self esteem and body image. Isn’t it incredible the pleasure your body is capable of giving yourself and others? Don’t compare your body to the plastic, airbrushed media ideals. Body size fashion changes throughout the centuries depending what product or idea is being sold, so try not to let yourself get caught up in it. Embrace your body-flaws and all. If you feel sexy about yourself, sex is better!
Turn off your iPhone, iPad, video game, TV and make time for your lover. Actively invest in your sex life by scheduling times for sex and a regular date night once a week just for you and your lover and no one else. In our busy, fast paced lives, sex often needs to be planned in advance. It can still be spontaneous and exciting, just make time for it.
In and out of the bedroom. Foreplay doesn’t just have to be what happens when you are naked just before sex, it can be everything you say to your partner during the day. It can be an all day exchange of sexy text messages telling each other everything you plan on doing to each other when you get home. It can be sexy words whispered into your lovers ears as you leave the house. It builds suspense, anticipation and excitement for explosive sex!
We can be brought up with so much shame around sex! For instance, words like sex or genitals are bad, dirty and rude that one should be embarrassed about.. I’m always facinated by the Victorian ideals that still influence our ideas about sex. Try to imagine instead, that you were brought up with the idea that your sexuality is a natural and healthy part of yourself that can be manifested in a creative, loving and mindful way to enhance your life, creativity and relationships.