This urban myth has been around a long time! When I was a teenager, I remember being told that men thought about sex every seven seconds as if it was as an accepted fact like the sky is blue.
If men really do think about sex every seven seconds, then that’s seven or eight thousand thoughts about sex a day! The myth doesn’t hold up when you look into all the many research studies done on this topic.
This every seven seconds idea really supports the culturally constructed idea that all men are obsessed with sex all the time. It lumps all men into a sexually homogeneous group with this uniform sexual energy.
This myth ties into all the many stereotypes about male sexuality. Male sexuality isn’t as simple or uniform as people like to believe.
Male sexuality changes with age, relationship status and emotional and physical health.
This cultural idea that men think about sex every few seconds simply isn’t true and it’s very much over estimated. The research can’t agree on how many times a day anyone thinks about sex because there’s just such a huge variation.
One research study found that young men on average thought about sex 19 times a day. This was a fraction more than young women on average thought about sex in a day (ten times) but they also discovered men thought about sleep and food more than women too. Researchers concluded that men are more needs based than women.
Other researchers found that men and women’s sexual thoughts were of about equal amounts during the day.
Another study found that 16 year old young men thought about sex every five minutes not every seven seconds. Men in their 40’s thought about sex every half an hour. These sexual thoughts kept decreasing as their age increased.
The Kinsey Report discovered that 4% of men under the age of 60 think about sex only once a month, 43% of men think about sex a few times a month or a week and 54% have at least one sexual thought a day or more.
As men age they have less sex than when they were younger. Sexual thoughts and desires fluctuate depending on your overall energy and wellbeing.
How many times you think about sex a day has more to do with you as an individual than what sex you are. It also has to do more with how you feel in your body and your sexuality than your genitals.
Researchers found that some men and women thought about sex a hundred times or more a day. They also found some men and women only thought about sex a few times a day.
If someone is dealing with sexual addictive or compulsive behaviours then it’s also more down to a whole host of complex reasons that aren’t necessarily related to their genitals. Sexual compulsive behaviours are due to an inability to cope with stress, biochemical reasons or growing up in a dysfunctional family or surviving childhood sexual assault. People with sexually addictive traits use sex in the same way a drug addict uses drugs- to avoid unpleasant feelings or stress from work etc.
So there you have it. Men do not think about sex every seven seconds! Myth busted!
Photography- Oliver Easton