Is there a link between depression and masturbation?

Does masturbation cause depression?

Masturbation doesn’t cause depression despite many times throughout history where that was believed. It was once believed that ‘nocturnal pollutions’ could make you mad, blind or insane.

Nowadays we know that’s been disproved and we understand that masturbation or self pleasuring or solo sex can help someone understand their body and sexual response, boost theirs self esteem and help them feel good.

If someone feels shame or guilt around self pleasuring it’s more likely it’s their culture or religion that has negative views about masturbation that’s making them feel terrible rather than the act itself.

The benefits of solo sex

Masturbation can help you have a much better nights sleep because after orgasm your body is flooded with delicious feel good hormones such as endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin.

Studies have found that women who have never or just don’t self pleasure themselves are less sexually satisfied in their marriages. Learning to give yourself pleasure and orgasms on your own can very often mean you will find it easier to orgasm with your partner and have more enjoyable sex.

There might also be a connection between self pleasuring yourself and having a bigger sex drive. Researchers found that women who regularly engaged in solo sex have a much bigger sex drive than women who don’t masturbate.

Orgasms get you out of your head and into your body and can almost be used in a meditative way.

Combining solo sex with tantra breathing meditation can fill you full of sexual and creative energy and help you to feel aligned with your life’s purpose. I show you how to do this at my retreats.

How does depression impact your libido?

Depression can make one lose interest in usual things that they perhaps once loved or found interesting. It can make one lose interest in sex or solo sex and as it reduces their overall energy can reduce their sexual energy and libido.

If you’re in a relationship and you’re feeling very depressed and noticed your sex drive has become very reduced it’s important to keep that connection and intimacy going with your partner or partners. Choose ways to do that like cuddling and spending one on one time together that make you feel close.

Certain anti-depressants can reduce your sex drive too and you should definitely talk to your Doctor or a sex therapist if you notice this is happening.

Stop Sexual Bullying and Shaming

Sexual bullying makes me sick. That is, any sort of bullying or shaming about someone’s gender or sexuality. Research shows that girls are disproportionately the victims and the bullying is usually about their sexuality and fueled by sexual double standards. You know the sort of sexual double standards I’m talking about; men can wear revealing clothes, have many sexual partners, be sexual whereas if women do the same they are met with more condemnation and judgement.


Art by Christian Schloe

Cyber bullying is  the intentional and repeated behaviour performed through electronic media for the purpose of harming others. 

Modern technology makes it easier to intimidate, shame and harass someone.

Also known as electronic harassment or online aggression, cyber bullying is becoming a bigger problem as the internet plays an increasing role in our lives. Social media and google are our new reputation emblems and being publicly shamed can lead to depression and suicide.


Internet and phones become a weapon for bullies to harass women about their appearance, sexuality and their real or imagined sexual activity and to harass men for their perceived sexual orientation and masculinity. Bullies embrace the internet as a space of criticism and judgement and act like the “sex and moral police.” Bullies actions are more like a mirror that reflects their own internal problems and insecurities than revealing anything about the victim.


Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth are more than three times as likely to experience harassment online than non LGBT youths. LGBT kids are four times more likely to attempt suicide than non LGBT adolescents. Research shows that adults are just as susceptible to the negative mental health effects of cybercbullying and that victims of cyber bullying have worse anxiety and depression outcomes than victims of traditional bullying.
A new study of university students found that women who have experienced cyber bullying have increased rates of depression by six fold. Young adults are twice as likely to attempted suicide if they’ve experienced cyber bullying than those who have not and the effects can last for decades after the bullying took place.

The most common cyber bullying tactics reported were; online unwanted sexual advances, harassing by text and posting degrading comments publicly on social media.

“Bullycide” is a new term for when people commit suicide as a result of bullying and it’s happening to adults and kids.

The study found that cyber bullies were more likely to have very low self esteem and have problems with alcohol use. Their existing mental health problems manifest outwardly as aggressive online behaviour.


I want to see kindness, compassion and acceptance go viral. Let’s embrace the power of technology to promote respect for each other, our bodies, our sexual expression and our sexual orientation. Let’s harness our creativity to take a stand against bullying.

I’m starting an education campaign against sexual bullying. Please email me with your bullying story or how you stood up to sexual bullying and I will publish it on my website. I will have a new page up soon in support of this campaign.
I want you to have your story heard. There’s too much pain and blaming of victims taking place. Telling your story can inspire and strengthen others. Let’s transform the toxicity of sexual bullying into an atmosphere of  respect and love. 


Email me with your story on this link and get in touch if you’re struggling with cyber bullying or sexual shaming. You are not alone and it does hurt and I can help.
I would be honoured to help you.