Imagine you’re being interviewed for a job as a personal assistant in a big office. Now pretend your lover is the boss. They close the door. They walk very close to you as they walk back to their chair and you feel giddy. You suddenly want to do anything to please them; whatever it takes. They need you to work back very long hours under their strict eye. You must relinquish all control and do everything they say. His or her eyes trail down your body. You will have to do a lot more than just filing and you feel your heart rate increase and your face flush with excitement.
Sexy role play helps to liven up sex, heighten intimacy, increase confidence and to drop our inhibitions.
Role play goes straight to the biggest sexual organ in our body- our brain. Our mind needs to be stimulated and silenced at the same time for great sex. It’s this delicate balance that role play games can bring about.
This fact is why Viagra can fail so many couples. Viagra only increases blood flow to the genitals and sex is much more than engorged genitalia. Disgruntled wives returned to Doctors complaining hubby demanded sex because he had an instant Viagra raging erection but it didn’t solve any of their broader relationship problems. Viagra didn’t touch their minds.
Getting in the mood for great sex starts with connection, seduction, anticipation, wanting, flirting, teasing, communication, atmosphere, fun, foreplay, imagination and intimacy.
Role play fantasy scenarios invigorate our imagination and lead to very creative love making where we can play out another aspect of ourselves.
Clothes can stay on. It can start with just words.. Once clothes eventually come off you can be so aroused that your body image worries fade away. Roleplaying can lead to a greater build up of sexual tension and desire and help you break out of the formulaic—“you do this, then I do this” sex. Boring and uninspired sex can stagnate a relationship.
Try this role play with your partner.
Who wants to play boss and who wants to play secretary? Notice who gravitates naturally to each role.
What is it about this fantasy or one of your own that appeals to you?
Does the idea of being in control and being the boss or being the dutiful, willing and eager junior turn you on?
You could set up a desk and dress in office clothes and re-enact it at home. Perhaps you could arrange to meet in a crowded cafe for the “interview.” You both have to stay in character the whole time. A public area means you can’t touch each other until you get home thus increasing the sexual
Don’t worry about whether your role play is PC or not. As long as our fantasies are negotiated and consensual then try not to over think them.
As children we played “pretend” games and we lose touch with that make believe world as we grow up. Don’t let go of that fertile land of the active imagination. A couple that plays together stays together. Stay consensual, respectful and debrief. There’s tonnes more I could say about this but I’ll leave that to our sessions!
Get in touch if you’d like to learn more or if you want to bring the va va voom back into your relationship.