Why Sex Therapy can help more than popping a pill.

The pharmaceutical industry does promise it has all the answers for male sexuality! It puts a lot of pressure on men to perform to a certain, normalised standard in bed that focuses mainly on the genitals and the genitals alone. It makes men feel anxious and bad about themselves if they don’t live up to these standards. Just pop a little blue pill and everything is fixed! Or is it?

In the ads for Viagra you see happy couples dancing and having fun. The drug promises emotional fulfillment and connection and a happy relationship, but when you think about it- all it does is increase the blood to the penis! Can improving blood flow do all that? Really?

I mean, we still don’t properly understand the connection between psychological processes and physiological response. So, doesn’t it make sense that we should expect challenges in predicting when pharmacological effects on sexual response will be helpful?

I could rant on all day about how I’m not happy with how the medicalization of sexuality dictates a clinical and biological mindset onto sexual functioning while ignoring other factors-but I’ll spare you too much ranting today!

These miracle ads set up high expectations for couples-it’s a wonder drug, a quick fix followed by devastating disappointments if this magic blue pill doesn’t deliver it all. These high expectations can create an even more devastating blow to a man’s sense of masculinity and individual failure, and bring about more stress to the relationship, if the drug does not bring about erectile changes.   The long term physical side effects are questionable and still not known and some users of Viagra speak with concern of the headaches the drug brought about or worries about the cardio side effects.

Sometimes couples are even more unhappy after trying Viagra because popping a little pill didn’t help bring about greater intimacy, connection, communication and sensuality to their relationship and the disappointment can be crushing. As a trained sex therapist, I can help you work on intimacy, communication, touch and sensuality and so much more. I can look at your entire relationship and work with you to improve it on your own terms, not by a pharmaceutical company! I can help you explore your sexuality together in different ways, not just the “rumpy-pumpy penis goes in and out way,’ because there’s so many other options to explore.

Don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying that Viagara can’t help some individuals, I’m just saddened when couples are sold it as the miracle worker for their relationship.

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