Overcome your orgasm block

           She struggles to orgasm

 

SHE STRUGGLES TO ORGASM BLOG

 

Were you punished for simply exploring your body as a child? It’s a common way that we learn to repress our sexuality and young girls seem to be punished a lot more for self exploration than little boys.

This repression can continue into adulthood. When women don’t know how to orgasm after growing up with this shame about their own bodies it’s important to awaken your own body on your own terms.

I’m going to say that again because it’s so important- awaken your body on your own terms! What would that look like to you? How could you do that?

A lot of young people are brought up with the abstinence only model which can lead to repression and confusion about desire and pleasure.

A lot of girls are accessing porn earlier and earlier and using it as their main form of sex education despite the fact it’s mainly focussed on male sexual needs, made for the the male viewer and documents the male sexual response cycle which is very different to the female sexual response cycle.  There can be a lot of frustration when women are trying to make their body respond in the same way a man’s body does.

Learn how to self pleasure yourself on your own.

Get a lamp and a mirror and rub oil on your genitals and give yourself a loving and sensual massage.

Learn how to orgasm yourself on your own first.

Learn the rhythm, pressure and patterns that feel good so that you can then show someone else what you like when you’re ready.

For women of menstruating age and not on hormonal contraception that blocks ovulation, notice the times of your cycle that your body is most responsive, most easily aroused and most lubricated.

Notice how your vulva, body responses and discharge changes throughout your cycle.

Learn to love your body and your genitals in new and radical ways.

Masturbation and sex are skills that need to be learnt like riding a bike.

Imagine you’re training for the Tour de France! Start putting all of that focus and concentration on traning yourself! Don’t let your pleasure go to the bottom of your ‘To Do’ list.

If you struggle to orgasm get to know what’s in between your thighs intimately and make it a priority to master the art of self pleasure and orgasm.

Understanding how all of your body works and responds is important to unlocking sexual pleasure. A lot of my work is starting off with sex education and eradicating so much of the myths that my clients have been brought up with surrounding their sex drive and their bodies.

A clinical sex therapist such as myself can help you if you’re struggling with orgasm and can set you specific homework techniques depending on your specific situation.

This is especially relevent if you’re struggling with past sexual trauma.

Get in touch with me today if you want to reclaim your sexuality, your pleasure and your body.

Catherine O Dowd

Sex therapist- Relationship Counsellor- Art Psychotherapist

www.creativesexpression.com

Orgasms are good for you!

Are you feeling down? An orgasm could be the pick me up you need. Orgasm releases endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin. These three are the big three of mood enhancing hormones. Dopamine is the same hormone that your body releases if you use a drug like cocaine or eat a really delicious food.  Mmm and orgasms are much better for your health than drugs!
A recent survey of 1,800 women found that over 30% of them used sexual release as a natural sedative. Is that how you get to sleep when you’re having trouble relaxing?  This brings to mind a certain Seinfeld episode, if anyone can remember that one? No one could get to sleep when the characters were having a little competition amongst themselves!
Orgasms are a natural painkiller. Victorian Doctors were onto something when they said orgasms could soothe certain aches and pains-expecially migraines and menstrual cramps. Who needs panadol?
Apparently the contractions that women have during orgasm can actually evacuate blood clots during menstruation, which can give temporary relief.
Guess what? We actually do “glow” after sex. The hormone DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone), can actually make your skin healthier and this hormone skyrockets during sexual activity.When Harry Met Sally
Orgasms are wonderful for stress relief. A lot of us live hectic and busy lives and don’t have much time for relaxation. Hormones during orgasm help us relax and cope with stress and they help our mind have a break. Being sexual helps you be in the moment and only think about one thing only. Often we are always thinking of many things at once.  For many people the only time they have an experience similar to meditation is when they have sex or masturbate.
Orgasms also nourish the brain with oxygen. MRI images show that our  brains use much more oxygen during orgasm than usual. So a bit of self loving is good for your brain!
Orgasms benefit your emotional health..  If you know how to pleasure yourself and take yourself to orgasm it may actually increase your emotional intelligence and sexual confidence. You make much better decisions in relationships when you understand how your body works and that it is capable of amazing pleasure on its own.  You don’t need to affirm our status as a sexual being by looking to someone else. You know that you are a sexual being on your own and you can have mind blowing orgasms on your own.
Need some help or advice? Never had an orgasm or have a partner that hasn’t had an orgasm? Get in touch with me today for a confidential session.